“Another bug, great job, tech team”: this sarcastic message lays a trap, and you’re free not to fall into it.
Justifying yourself or hitting back: the two reflexes that keep the game going. This module trains you to do something else: respond calmly with facts, ask the other person what they really expect, and above all identify the role you’re playing (victim, persecutor, or rescuer) and swap it for its constructive counterpart.
~20 min at your own paceKey skill: Handling Difficult RelationshipsAvailable in FR + EN
What you’ll take away
- some concrete phrases to stay out of the game without escalating
- each role’s healthy form: demanding without humiliating, supporting without taking over
- a difficult meeting scenario replayed with an adult approach, from blame to a proposal
Who it’s for
Anyone who wants to keep an adult stance in tense conversations and bring others back to it.
Learning objectives
- Spot the hook, the phrase or tone that invites you into a role, and respond with facts instead of biting.
- Clarify by asking questions: “What exactly do you expect from me?” is the question that moves the exchange away from complaint or attack.
- Turn your own role into its healthy counterpart, following Acey Choy’s Winner’s Triangle and David Emerald’s approach.
- Choose to be the first to leave the dance, so that others have the chance to leave it too.
How does this module work?
The steps of the Adaptive module.
- Self-assessmentOn nine dimensions, to gauge current habits and guide the practice.
- Expert videoA ~10 min video with three pauses for reflection.
- Practice scenariosThe first two scenarios chosen from the self-assessment, then sixteen more, optional. Every answer gets feedback: what it leads to, and one way to improve.
- Dated commitmentOne action to try, written by the learner or chosen from the suggestions.
- Memo to downloadKey takeaways, questions, commitment, personal notes, and checklists.
Duration: ~20 min. Excluding bonus practice scenarios and optional in-depth content.
